just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize