he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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