the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
