hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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