the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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