just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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