I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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