I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
