I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
