Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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