And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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