i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
