my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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