Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
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I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
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HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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