i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
