Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
