Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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