wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This toilet bowl is my home.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
