dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
farters have to be the big spoon...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
