p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize