i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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