doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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