oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
