This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
