They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
