Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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