He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
