You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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