even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
