these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
