apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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