i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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