I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
