everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
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My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
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My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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