Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize