Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I checked into jail on foursquare
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i want to swaddle you in tequila
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize