i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
