Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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