We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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