A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
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