kristin has been a bad kristin
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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