i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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