Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
