you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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