You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
