were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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