the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
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Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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