she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
