Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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