I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
