Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize