I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My vagina is officially offended.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
