I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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