Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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