Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.

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(423): he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft. http://tfl.nu/x178

Replies (345) Good night (3233) Bad night (17680)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.

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(913): Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it. http://tfl.nu/o6yg

Replies (16) Good night (3509) Bad night (1108)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.

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(641): Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that. http://tfl.nu/2jzp

Replies (27) Good night (9052) Bad night (3489)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

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(614): Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge" http://tfl.nu/439j

Replies (20) Good night (4024) Bad night (4644)
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(804): View more from Virginia

you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms

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(804): you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms http://tfl.nu/vyht

Replies (4) Good night (3947) Bad night (941)
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(514): View more from Quebec

Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for

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(514): Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for http://tfl.nu/ftay

Replies (13) Good night (1304) Bad night (4471)
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(816): View more from Missouri

... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.

(314): View more from Missouri

I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.

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(816): ... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night. (314): I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it. http://tfl.nu/jfox

Replies (7) Good night (4355) Bad night (1026)
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(805): View more from California

My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.

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(805): My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore. http://tfl.nu/yzqd

Replies (9) Good night (2199) Bad night (1305)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?

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(502): I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that? http://tfl.nu/7r6j

Replies (14) Good night (1367) Bad night (1789)
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(949): View more from California

You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.

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(949): You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept. http://tfl.nu/3n2j

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(732): View more from New Jersey

if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february

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(732): if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february http://tfl.nu/tz00

Replies (2) Good night (1302) Bad night (691)
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(940): View more from Texas

I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.

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(940): I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight. http://tfl.nu/7wi4

Replies (5) Good night (695) Bad night (1107)
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(206): View more from Washington

Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.

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(206): Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer. http://tfl.nu/p121

Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (513)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.

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(336): I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting. http://tfl.nu/ebs4

Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (128)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.

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(910): She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning. http://tfl.nu/x36o

Replies (1) Good night (163) Bad night (311)

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