I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
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There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
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I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.