Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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  (703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP. http://tfl.nu/bqsy
  Replies (20) Good night (871) Bad night (6406) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.

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  (505): I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse. http://tfl.nu/niyb
  Replies (15) Good night (4926) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.

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  (404): Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio. http://tfl.nu/i1ck
  Replies (8) Good night (2577) Bad night (1014)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'

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  (205): When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life' http://tfl.nu/863e
  Replies (26) Good night (6766) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on

  (917): View more from New York City

  Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.

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  (516): Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on (917): Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something. http://tfl.nu/buau
  Replies (3) Good night (2416) Bad night (803)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...

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  (732): Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL... http://tfl.nu/zpti
  Replies (6) Good night (1951) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.

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  (814): Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry. http://tfl.nu/q7zn
  Replies (9) Good night (2863) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.

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  (360): We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent. http://tfl.nu/utkw
  Replies (8) Good night (2872) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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  (203): I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight. http://tfl.nu/nwmv
  Replies (6) Good night (968) Bad night (1399) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you

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  (713): I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you http://tfl.nu/33e4
  Replies (7) Good night (465) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy

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  (615): The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy http://tfl.nu/u49d
  Replies (3) Good night (1363) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits

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  (410): I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits http://tfl.nu/1cr3
  Replies (5) Good night (599) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (15) Good night (1407) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.

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  (661): I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body. http://tfl.nu/1u6s
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  My god, what have you done?

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  (203): Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship. (1-203): My god, what have you done? http://tfl.nu/3iim
  Replies (3) Good night (1384) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt

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