At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no