now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
