He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am available for nakedness
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
