hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
