He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon