last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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