So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
