they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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